May 2024

prokopetz:

You’re on a goon squad. What’s your role?

Gangly beanpole who keeps hitting their head on low-hanging obstacles

Taciturn shortarse carrying a comical number of hidden weapons on their person

Flamboyant rowdy who tries to solo the hero and gets their ass kicked every time

Big talker who knows lots of complicated words, but uses them incorrectly

Persnickety authoritarian who becomes increasingly unhinged as things go wrong

Hulking slab of beef who’s surprisingly well-read on an odd but useful topic

Unassuming one who all the other goons are nervous around for no clear reason

Obnoxious braggart who screams and runs away whenever things get rough

Thug whose entire personality revolves around their extremely impractical weapon

Ambiguously queer sadist with an unplaceable foreign accent

Person who says “yeah!”

Other (specify)

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