do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.
“sorry I stimmed on you during sex” did Mozart apologize for piano concerto no. 21? did michelangelo apologize for seeing the angel in the marble and setting him free,??? pull yourself together
if you’re wondering how things are going over on the bird website, Green Day was on New Years Rockin Eve last night and performed American Idiot with the slight line change of saying “not a part of the MAGA agenda” instead of “redneck agenda” and conservatives are FUCKING PISSED talking about “how dare they make it political” because none of them have a single ounce of media literacy
so interesting news but after using both for a bit, while they initially seemed the same, it has become clear that the right tumblr app takes place in a timeline where 9/11 did not happen
is it better there
you might think so but you’ll never believe what happened on 9/12
shoutout to those already struggling within the first days of the new year. this does NOT dictate on how your year is going to be. stuff you’re going through may not disappear overnight. you’ll get there and what’s important is that you take it easy
“Safety is always at the expense of policing black bodies, because again, neither whiteness nor blackness exists in a vacuum. If quirkiness is eccentricity or white-girl-weird, then it’s about making new movements, tics, and they can be affectations, that are peculiar but never seen as threatening. Black people are often forced to keep making old movements, in our bodies, speech, the way we live, because the space for whiteness to see us as safe if we’re unpredictable barely exists.”
Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm’s worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you’re towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you
As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me
(*in fact you do not swerve because you’re on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)
“just not seeing enough people talking about carl clemons-hopkins, the first out nonbinary actor to be nominated for an emmy, and the nonbinary flag gown they wore last night”
Can’t stand how people will learn that humans are related to Pokemon and somehow come to the conclusion that different people are different types. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.
🍑 pechaberrysoda
there are literally so many fighting type people what are you even talking about lmao
🌊 lugias-sopping-anus
Your genetic make up doesn’t just magically change type because you took a karate class. Do you also think your Charizard is a Grass type now because it learnt Solar Beam?
✨ ace-trainer-luna
But aren’t Psychic type people a thing? Some humans have telekinetic powers, I’m pretty sure there are a few gym leaders who have them. There are even rare cases of children born with psychic abilities.
🌸 cynthiasfuturewife
that’s still just learning moves
🌌 mistyterrain
As an actual Psychic type, this post is really disheartening to see. The fact that people who still refuse to acknowledge the existence of psychics are so common is just shocking. We exist!
☣ deathtounova
no one’s refusing to acknowledge the existence of shit, you just don’t know how types work
🌌 mistyterrain
The sheer ignorance on display here, it’s obvious you’re just mad you’re a normal type lol.
☣ deathtounova
how bout i karate chop your ass and we’ll see how “not very effective” it is
🌌 mistyterrain
Typical physical attacker brutishness, resorting to violence as usual
🦧 return-to-mankey
didn’t you claim you manifested the kyogre disaster in hoenn?
⚡ electrictypesfuckyeah
WHAT
🥀 cradilyzone
Actual professor here! Genetically, all humans are Normal types, though some of our relatively recent ancestors were Psychic. Part of what let us succeed as a species was reutilizing the brain power originally used for psionics to language and tool use. We do still have some vestigial psychic power that can be trained, though it’s quite weak compared to most Pokémon. As for those born with psychic powers, this is considered nowadays to be like an egg move, passed down from parent to child. And no, obviously learning Fighting moves doesn’t make you a Fighting type, there is no way for a human to change their type.
🌔 hexmaniac
my grandma became a ghost type
🔶️ bigjiggly
I-
🔞 mega-miltank
What about swimmers though, they’re water type, right?
Can we boost this one until it reaches the Oklahoma City Tumblrites? This seems like something this website could rally and solve. Help save all this genetic information? I messaged them to offer to consult with the entymology lab near mine to see if they could store the bugs with us, but they are VERY far away and would have to drive long distance to us.
UPDATE: Based on people’s stories in the comments, the guy behind the project is a misogynist wad who has burnt every bridge in the city, and that’s why no one will help him. I understand everyone who does not want to help him, but I’m still not sure what to do about the bugs because I hate to give a dumpster fire of a science man a pass to get places in life without being made to character develop, but he also seems to be in charge of resources that if lost, would be a loss to an entire field and not just him. :/
these are the people in power, remember that while their stupidity may be funny it’s really much more scary and it underlines the problem of access to education in this country
i wish i could join discord servers and be talkative but alas every time i’m put in one i feel like a frightened captive animal being released into the wild for the first time and i instantly shove it in a folder never to be seen again outside of a random ping every few months
[ID: screenshot of a tweet by xtian (@/AOWTOUDOUZAT) that reads: My boyfriends mom just excused herself from the table and said “I don’t mean to be rude but if I don’t put on my nightgown now I will kill myself” and then went to bed. end ID].
