On my hands and knees begging adults to allow children to engage in risk play.
And by risk play I don’t mean handing them a gun and playing Russian Roulette.
I mean like climbing trees, getting so sick spinning on the swing they throw up, balancing on the curb, sitting in the mud, walking on slippery surfaces, building half ass ramps to ride their bike over, standing on rocks, or anything that involves a smidgen of confidence and out of the box thinking that could result in injury.
Obviously like watch your kids and such, but when we talk about the fun of being an 80s or 90s kid, it’s not just talking about CDs and Walkmans or not having iPads. It’s about how kids today were robbed of critical learning and experience skills we were allowed to have.
Playgrounds disappearing, helicopter parents, and sue culture really destroyed a child’s development in the United States, and I think it’s about time we as adults recognize that, because the kids sure have.
You know what happens to kids who don’t get to take reasonable risks? They never learn how to gauge safety or control their bodies in risky situations.
A kid who never climbs a tree becomes an adult who falls off a ladder because they don’t intuitively know to keep 3 points of contact when climbing.
A kid who never skins their knees launching off a swingset becomes an adult who shatters an arm because they never learned how to break a fall.
Kids who are allowed to take risks become safer adults.
This crossed my dash again, so here’s a more thorough list of things risk play is necessary for:
- Developing pain tolerance & an understanding of which types/intensities of pain are “okay” and which need immediate medical attention
- Calibrating the inner ear (sense of balance) and learning how the body reacts to experiencing different things, essential to learning to control the body in unexpected situations
- Developing reflexes and subconscious safety instincts (e.g. protectively throwing up your hands when an object flies toward your face)
- Normalizing getting hurt so the first reaction to an injury is just to treat it (and not to have a fearful emotional meltdown)
- Learning how to treat and heal from injuries (beginnings of self-care)
- Developing appropriate levels of fear around various activities, desensitizing fear around doing harmless things and establishing a fear response for actions that caused an injury. This is key to properly gauging risk in new situations.
Additionally, the reason it’s so essential to mess around and get hurt as a kid is not just because it’s a critical developmental stage, but also because kids’ bodies are growing and naturally resistant to major injuries. A 3rd grader can get launched off a bike onto the pavement and only sustain a few scrapes and bruises that will heal in a few days, while someone who’s 30 would likely pull or sprain something (or worse) and take weeks to heal.
If you are someone who grew up not being allowed to take risks it is likely you have a low pain tolerance, fear surrounding physical activities, slow reflexes, and poor judgment. The good thing is that it’s never too late to learn! Our brains are very malleable, so if you missed out on this stuff as a kid now is the time to go climb a tree, go on a hike with unstable footing, or join a casual sports team. Just start small and work your way up, since your body won’t be as resilient as it was when you were 9 :)
Your additions have tickled my brain in the right way. Thank you for your contribution to the discussion!