I think the other reason I don’t really get into ships as portrayed by fandom culture is that it seems like the mindset is more like. “I want these characters to be in a Romantic Relationship™” instead of “I want these characters’ relationship to be romantic”
What I mean here is that, so often I see pairings enacting romance tropes to the point of heavily altering or downright replacing their original dynamic - as if the people behind it only understand romance as a series of checklists to tick off. Couples like to kiss and sleep in the same bed and flirt with each other, so it doesn’t matter who the characters are, if they’re a couple then naturally they’ll do those things, right??
And that’s where the whole thing starts to lose me, because I would assume that the appeal of shipping characters is, y'know… the characters? Rather than just, the idea of a couple? If I’m thinking about how it’d be cool for them to be in love, my first thought is always “so how would they show it,” because just like everything else about a person, the answer is going to be different on a case-by-case basis.
Maybe the characters involved aren’t really into kissing, but they like arranging date activities. Maybe they aren’t committed to the structure of dating at all, and just want to be around each other whenever they can. And even if they are the types to like doing traditionally romantic things, that doesn’t suddenly erase whatever else they had going on before they started adding that on top of it.
I’m not saying that the more typical romance tropes and activities are bad, just that they’re applied kind of excessively, regardless of whether or not they actually work for the characters involved. I want to see my favorite characters having relationships that are true to who they are, not what the stock depiction of a couple says they should be.