Unusual Curses
- Doesn’t know what doors are. Can’t learn.
- Slow, inexorable transformation in a tumblr sexyman.
- You don’t turn into a ravenous wolfman every full moon, but you’re utterly convinced you do.
- Every car you enter becomes a cybertruck.
- Transparent skin and glowing bones.
- You constantly hear Doug Walker reacting to everything you do in your head.
- You can’t perceive cats anymore.
- Everyone you love will die, in probably a maximum of 90 years.
- Can’t ever enter Nevada.
- Will instantly die if you ever see a tiktok.
- Every meal you eat is mashed potatoes. No matter what you intended to make, order or buy, it’s mashed potatoes.
- Thou cannot walketh where a passenger pigeon flew this tenday (this was a bigger problem 200 years ago).
- In seven days, Sadako will do a corporate buyout of your workplace and fire you.
- You are simultaneously desperate to find truth but have limited perceptions and subjective biases that render you fundamentally unable to ever be truly certain of truth, as well as fearing death while being unavoidably mortal, unlike most people who are immortal and know the universe directly.
- Fuck this. Fuck you. Crabs upon you.
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