the thing about using modern labels to describe and delimit historical identities and relationships is that it implies that modern labels describe all of the types of identities and relationships that are possible for people to have. but actually there were more possibilities in the past and there are more possibilities in the present and the future than those that can be neatly defined and put into our current limited boxes. allowing ambiguity in isn’t about denying possibility or solidarity or history, it’s about embracing it