to add to this “humans are weird” thing
did you know that humans are the only species on earth with the ability to throw things with any significant degree of accuracy and force (apes can throw with about the force of a human ten year old, but cant lock their wrists well enough for accuracy)and we just never really think about it bc its so easy and simple to us that pretty much all of our sports are based around the concept of throwing things accurately
so
what if the concept of projectile weapons takes most species FOREVER to get the hang of, or even come up with in the first place.
a human goes onto a ship and throws some trash into the nearest reclaimer, shouts “kobe!” and all the other aliens on board absolutely LOSE THEIR MINDS“But Councilor Xilphin, why must we forge a contract with humans on this venture? Surely our limited resources would be better served hiring companions from our own warrior caste? The humans smell strangely, and they are so small and… squishy.”
“Ah, child. You are so young. But no, I am not angry. Did not the Great Leader once say that seeking answers to that which we do not know is the path to glory? When I was a child no older than yourself I thought the same. We had a bonded pair of humans aboard the ship I was stationed aboard. Molly and Jane (such charmingly bizarre names, are they not?). My age-mates and I thought little of them, until, at a supply drop on a backwater planet, we were waylaid by a band of Akskar pirates! Yes, well you might chitter in fear! We did the same, certain we were to be killed and our chitin harvested for their barbaric armor. It would have come to pass, if it were not for our brave Molly! Sie screamed a rending shout, grabbed up a stone from the earth, and sent it whizzing through the air to strike the pirate captain directly between the eyes! Lest you think this was a chance hit, no, she did it again! And again! A dozen stones flying through the air far too fast for the eye to track. The Akskar, with their deadly spears, could not even approach to harm her, and fled in panicked disarray!”
“But Councilor, how could anyone do such a thing?”
“This is one of the great strengths of the humans, child. By instinct they defend themselves by flinging objects, but the brave warrior Molly had been a champion of the war game ‘cricket’ in hir youth and was even stronger and more accurate than most. Molly and Jane raised up spawnlings, trained also in this ancient and terrible art. Now, their spawnlings-spawnlings know it as well, and it is to them we go to forge a contract to bless this venture. By nature they attack from a distance, and they are never disarmed, for there is always something that can be thrown by their powerful arms. Do you now perceive the wisdom of this course of action, child?”
“This child bows to your wisdom, Councilor Xilphin. It is unassailable.”