Implicit or implicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)
Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: “six whole people”)
Using words that aren’t numbers as numbers (example: “one William dollars”)
Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are “at least three”)
Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)
I love all of these, plus I would like to propose two additional, both things that I do on the regular:
6. Comparing a stated number to a somewhat larger number in a context where this adds no information. (example: “I found 50 dollars!” “Wow, that’s almost 60 dollars!”)
7. Improper use and conversion of units. “I’m turning 21 tomorrow!” “Wow, that’s 69.8 in Fahrenheit!”
if I may add a couple of my personal favorites:
8. Saying “maybe more!” when someone very clearly states an exact number, ie, “I have $2.45 on me right now.” “maybe more!” “no, just… just $2.45”
9. dismissing a legitimate fact because the method used to confirm it is also completely legitimate: “it looks like there’s 75 copies of this book in here.” “I mean sure, if you count them.”
