gods-special-little-lobotomite:

i hate magicians because when i was seven i was watching a magician perform during my friend’s birthday party and he did this one trick where he would take a black statuette and a white statuette, cover them each with a cloth, and then lift the cloths off to reveal that they were in separate places. and i thought i had figured out the trick so i yelled to the magician that the back sides of the statuettes were painted with opposite colors and he was just turning them while they were covered by the cloth. and the biggest, shit-eatingest grin spread across his face as he turned the statuettes to reveal that the back halves were painted yellow and red. everyone clapped and cheered and he bowed like five times. to this day i dont know how he pulled that shit off and every time i’m reminded of it i get a brain hemorrhage from pissing myself off real bad