xiaq:

penguinsbest:

xiaq:

xiaq:

My new boss: “Everyone come to the team meeting with a surprising story about something you’ve done in the past. Something no one would expect of you!”

Me: Googling the statute of limitation for felonies in Texas

I won.

noooo you can’t leave us hanging like this

we demand politely request to know the (alleged) felony!!

Mom, don’t read this.

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