Me, explaining how to boil vegetables and broth in a stockpot with shampoo to make shamopoup: “See the key is to keep it on a low simmer or it leeches the nonstick coating out of the pot.”
FBI agent who has been pretending to be an egirl for 9 months trying to entrap me into killing a judge: “Omg babe thats so cool, but you know what would be even cooler?”
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