One of the problems of not having an NSFW alt is that I’ll think of a post, decide it’s too “horny” for my main, but then my ADHD memory issues kick in and now I’ve forgotten my too-horny post so I couldn’t post it elsewhere even if I wanted to!
I don’t want to just make a NSFW alt because you can already just Google my first name and find out a lot about me. Me talking about a bunch of kink stuff is not a good thing to add to that. Especially not now, when I’m looking for a job.
Plus the way I say “horny” with quotes is because the way I’m writing about kink and porn is usually… Look, I’m asexual. But I’m a writer, and I love improv. I can talk sexy with the best of them, but it’s specifically because I don’t mean it.
It’s imitation, inspired by the horny posts I’ve seen. I don’t want to sound like I’m describing basic creativity here, but I yeah. Writing about sex is no different.
But if you go post about reverse doggy-style and eelplay, people make Assumptions that you’re into it.
And I don’t want that to happen, for both “employers and family members googling it” and “eventual callout fodder” reasons.
Because you can write about gunfights and no one assumes you’re a murder, about magic and no one thinks you’re a witch, but you write about ONE CATGIRL MAID and now you’re a pervert.
Which, I mean, no offense. I’m definitely some kind of pervert. But I’m also just annoyed by the idea that people are going to assume I’m into Any Sex Thing I Joke About.
Annoyingly, that assumption is only reinforced by having a NSFW-alt for it. Clearly if I’m hiding my Catgirl Maid account, it’s because I’m ashamed of my catgirl maid fetish.
And no! I’m not! But some stuff I don’t talk about not because of shame but because I don’t want to be connected to it forever, especially by people willingly misunderstanding me and the context.
The weird thing is that I have a bunch of Special Interests that are of things that I 100% do not support: conspiracy theories, weird Christian cult beliefs, military hardware, the cold war… (I’m on the autism spectrum, could you guess?)
But I’ve also got an interest in kink, because I find it endlessly fascinating in exactly the same way I find it fascinating that there used to be spy satellites that used film, which would then be ejected and caught in mid-air by a special helicopter. They then had to develop the negatives to find out what was going on in the Soviet Union! That’s so cool.
Just like finding out about that engineer who built a machine to hit him in the face with pies. The parts of sex that aren’t “sex” are endlessly fascinating to me: it’s like those silly bird dances and circular nests that puffer fish make. Humans have done what humans do and added endless variation and complexity to something and I am so here for it.
But because it’s SEX, I can’t gush about it as much as I do about weird old computers and snake handlers and ekranoplans. Or people assume I’m into it, which is not something I want.
And I have to go through this every time I have a halfway amusing Kink Post in my head that I can’t post anywhere and that gets tiring.