Parents don’t get to decide if they were “really good” parents. I know that’s harsh and there’s a lot of mommy positivity circles online that just give each other a positive feedback loop but you don’t decide if you were a “really great parent” to your child. Your children tell you if you were a good parent or not. I see this a lot of no contact parent circles where the person who is no contact with their children is like “well I was a GREAT parent so it isn’t my fault and I didn’t do anything wrong”. Normal parents wonder if they’re doing a good job, ask themselves how they can improve, are open to feedback from children and other parents. If you are 100% sure you were a faultless fantastic selfless awesome fantastic parent totally beyond reproach and your shitty ungrateful willful delinquent children just don’t appreciate you enough, you are a terrible parent.
Sometimes parents end up hurting their children without even intending to hurt them. What kind of response that brings about is up to the child, not the parent. Never forget that children are not the possessions of the parents, they are whole entire people, who have their own rights to determine what kind of relationship they will eventually have with their parent, based on their own independently valid experiences.