Rating responses I get to telling someone that I am intersex
(Inspired by this post about polyamory!)
“So you are nonbinary?” - Not really. Not an annoying question on its own but people will run with this misconception unless you correct them 5/10
“Omg.. is that like this super rare medical condition I heard about [describes intersex variation they saw on a medical drama]” - i don’t mind this question too much because it’s a good segway to talk about intersex rep in media. Loses points because it usually involves me being reminded of Dr. House. 6/10
“I never knew that could happen” good honest response, comes from a place of innocent ignorance. (But also reminds me of systematic intersex erasure) 7/10
“So you’re a hermaphrodite?” - yeah I guess. But that’s a slur so don’t say it. People usually just didn’t know. 5/10
“Huh I think that’s fascinating” - what am I a colorful slime mold 5/10
“You do you!! Love is love!!!!” - thanks? I’m not really doing anything. Do you understand what that word means? Kinda funny but also exhausting 6/10
“You can do whatever you want with your body just keep kids out of it.” - rightwinger transphobia brain slop alert. Also the added irony of saying this to an intersex person 2/10
“So uh..” (lip bite) “what’s your downstairs situation” - so the bulge in my pants is actually a big knife. Sometimes chasers can be funny but mostly 4/10
“I thought the correct term was DSD” - reminds me of TERFs, doctor visits, and eugenics 1/10
“I wish I was a intersex. I want to transition to be a hermaphrodite.” - AUGGHH.. so much shit wrong with this and I feel obligated to explain and then the person gets defensive and thinks I’m attacking their transness and not the intersexism 1/10
“So that’s why you look like that” - yes that is indeed why I look like that 6/10
“I thought that was made up / mythology / only in fantasy” - yeah I’m kind of like a cartoon character so I guess it checks out 6/10
“Oh cool, I’ve never met someone who was openly intersex :-)” - good response! Good acknowledging of non-open/unknowing intersex people! 10/10
“Holy shit no way me too???” - WOOOO instant new bestie 100/10
“I’m not intersex but I have [condition commonly accepted as intersex] so I relate.” - babe. Guess what. 9/10
“Is that a trans thing” - Not really but it is related. I don’t mind explaining how we’re similar but different. 5/10
“My fursona is intersex :)” - if this is coming from a perisex person, they probably mean their fursona has a penis and a vagina 3/10 - if it’s coming from an intersex person 10/10
“Oh.. I’m so sorry.. :(” - for what. It’s not a fucking disease 1/10
“Omg so you’re like a futa irl that is so hot” - watch less porn -100/10
(Not a comprehensive list!)
(I edited the post to add some I forgot!)
BTW you don’t need to say ‘yeah i guess’ to people calling you a hermaphrodite, and not just because it’s a slur. The word hermaphrodite Means A Thing biologically and that thing does not cover intersex humans.
Hermaphrodites are lifeforms that produce both male and female gametes, i.e. sex cells. Some intersex conditions that humans can have involve the body creating both ovarian and testicular tissue, but not all of them, and I don’t think there’s any intersex conditions that render people capable of producing both sperm and eggs.
I’m not intersex myself so I apologise if this is overstepping, but I do have an Interest in biology and learnt about this via reading about the reproductive behaviours and systems of species that do have genuinely hermaphroditic individuals. I also see a fair amount of people who should know better pointing at intersex animals (such as bilateral gynandromorph birds) and cheerfully declaring them to be 'trans’ or 'nonbinary’ or other wrong terms. I imagine that’s even more annoying for you than it is for me…