she got those Tom Lehrer vibes
[Video Description: extended tiktok/video by fettuccinefettuqueen. Multiple camera views and qualities are shown. Gabbi Bolt, a feminine musical comedian wearing a bright floral shirt, earrings, and bandana, plays a keyboard and sings under pink and blue lights on a small stage. She sings and plays a song (lyrics below). It begins slowly. Every time the Aus police are mentioned, the song gets faster and goes up a key. By the end, she is singing and playing very quickly. It ends with a flourish and applause.
Lyrics: A kindergarten teacher would only have up to F. When they looked at their curriculum to teach the alphabet. A surgeon would not yet have even touch a surgery. But 6 months, Yep, that’s all it takes to join the Aus police. A lawyer would be juggling 4 subjects on their feet, when on average there are 38 - right? - subjects to complete. They cannot yet defend, object or bargain for a plea, but meanwhile you can make arrests when you’re the Aus police. Seem fair! A first time mum is still too busy cooking up a kid. A first time architect is still drawing up a blueprint. A first time taxidermist is still fucking creepy so is the fact that in 6 months you can join the Aus police. A retail worker would still have a skerrick of their soul. The West Coast Eagles still would not have scored a single goal. Michelle has not been introduced as Child of Destiny but you can lock up kids when you work for Aus Police. The age of criminal responsibility in this country is 10. When I was 10, I couldn’t even spell criminal. A politician would’ve only fucked up 40 times and for every fuck up made, they would have told bout 40 lies. A Telstra support worker still has not got back to me but I would not have this problem if I worked for Aus police. Hands up Tesltra! It’s a raid! Fa La La La La La La La La La Firearms Mililililili Military Complex Li li li li li li li li little tiny boots! Haha! ay ay ay ay ay. All the people I know that went into this career were annoying at best … and horrifying at worst. A learner driver would still be making their mum go *pffftt*. An office worker still has not worked up two weeks in lieu. A musical comedian just has this melody. But 6 months, Yep, that’s all it takes to own a gun and make arrests and join the Aus police.
End Description.]