prokopetz:

Variations on “they would not fucking say that”:

1. They would not fucking say that (the classic)
   
2. They might fucking say it, but they wouldn’t say it like that
   
3. They’d say it if it ever occurred to them, but there’s no fucking way they’d figure it out on their own
   
4. They might think it, but good fucking luck getting them to admit it
   
5. They might say it, but – and this is key – they’d be intensely fucking weird about it