my first queer experience was when i was 17 and playing spin the bottle at a party and it landed on a girl. the thing is, the version we were all playing was a seven mins in heaven one rather than a simple kiss one.
the girl was all for it, i was not. i was in no way homophobic, or so i thought, at the time. my brother and aunt were both queer, so to me it had never been an issue. but the thought of a pretty girl being all game to kiss me in the closet of my best friends bedroom made my skin crawl.
spoiler alert: i had a big fat crush and didn’t know how to deal with it.
and so i panicked, and went into the closet. we both started talking at the same time. she let me go first, i rambled and thought i had really fucked up when she simply put a hand on my arm and asked if she could kiss me. i let her.
we are both now 24 and 25 and have been living with each other since last november. i still sometimes struggle with my internalised homophobia, but she’s there through it all and i’m so grateful for her. i’m going to ask her to marry me sometime this year :)
anon are you living in a fanfic because oh my god that is so sweet