rating different responses to telling someone i’m polyamorous / dating multiple people
“oh… but how does that work?” a little annoying but usually comes from a place of genuine confusion or curiosity. 6/10
“but isnt that cheating?” no. 2/10
“so who’s your favourite partner?” believe it or not i dont have one, and even if i did have a fave it’d be shitty to say it out loud. 3/10
“oh sweet me too” FUCK YEAH 10/10
“can i join” well i barely know you so no. ranges from 2/10 to 4/10 depending on who’s asking
“woah so you’re like, an ot3 in real life” fuck your fandom shit. touch grass. 1/10
“i could never do polyamory” you’d think this is a perfectly fine thing to hear until you get it from EVERY FUCKING PERSON. 3/10
“thats cool” hell yeah it is. 9/10
“you’ll get married and find the one eventually” fuck you ive already found the several and amatonormativity can go give birth to a cactus out of its asshole. 0/10
“so how do you guys break up” and we’re back with another well meaning question. if you are familiar with among us then that’s your answer. 5/10
“like sister wives” absolutely not. wildly different. 1/10
“rent must be way easier” monogamy? in this economy? yeah you have a point. 7/10
“huh i never thought of that, maybe i should become poly/open up my relationship” go nuts!! but be cautious as it could fuck up any present monogamous relationship you have, make sure to communicate clearly & respect boundaries. 6/10
“damn you must have so many threesomes/orgies” i mean yeah but also thats not how you start a conversation. 3/10
“oh that must be nice, having so many people who love you and you care about” awww thank you. it really, really is. 10/10
“like mormons” die. -10000/10
the thrilling sequel, based on other responses people have mentioned in the notes
“do you have three weed smoking girlfriends?” a little overdone but it shows you’re chill and it’s a classic tumblr meme. 7/10
“so how’s the bathroom/sleeping situation?” polite and thoughtful. ranges from 3/10 to 6/10 depending on polycule size and living situation.
“damn, save some for the rest of us” only really funny the first few times. 2/10
“so which one of you is the [monogamous relationship role]?” it does not work like that. 1/10
“so which one of you is the [joke role]?” you gotta be creative with this one for it to really land. 6/10
“do they know about each other?” polyamory. is. not. cheating. 1/10
“ok do you want a cracker” only incidentally funny, but if you have at least one partner who is white you have the chance for an absolutely KILLER response. 3/10
“[any joke about the greater seattle polycule]” a bit stale. inverse relationship between distance from seattle and funniness level. 5/10
“you should love whoever you choose love” one of the kindest things you can ever say about polyamory. 10/10
“scheduling must be a nightmare” this can be either the least correct thing or the realest thing ever said. 6/10
“like swingers” a bit but don’t make that generalization. 2/10
“i wish i could have a partner on the side” sighhhhh. 1/10
“cuddles must be nice” yeahhhhh :3… 7/10
“dnd night has to be fun” tbh i’ve never actually played a ttrpg with my partners but we do play minecraft occasionally and it’s great. 6/10
“you should unionize” SOLIDARITY FOREVER 10/10