I’ve seen the “get thee to a nunnery” scene done where hamlet has no idea he’s being spied on and just goes off on ophelia because he’s hangry. I’ve seen the “get thee to a nunnery” scene done where hamlet knows he’s being watched from the start and the whole thing’s an act. I’ve seen the “get thee to a nunnery” scene done where hamlet figures out he’s being watched half way through and gets super mad at ophelia for betraying him. now I want to see the “get thee to a nunnery” scene done where ophelia covertly nods at where polonius and claudius are hiding, hamlet gets the idea, and they’re both in on the performance the whole time. I want classically trained shakespearean actors to give us their best best show of bad acting. I want ophelia to mouth some of the most cutting lines to hamlet before he says them. I want hamlet to frown exaggeratedly at her and for her to take this as a cue to start crying. I want hamlet to go grab her by the wrist, her to wince, and him to automatically loosen his grip. I want them to stage hamlet dragging her around by the ear using classic stage-fight techniques. I want them to be aggressively in cahoots with one another because they know each of their bastard father-figures are watching.
I want this for the lols of seeing them trying to fake-fight on the spot, to give ophelia more to do than just be the victim, and so it never crosses ophelia’s mind that hamlet’s actually losing it a little bit.
that is, until she hears how her father died.
Oh my GOD.
…
OPHELIA [talking just a bit too loudly and clearly]
Good my lord,
How does your honour for this many a day?HAMLET [distracted, not quite getting it yet]
I humbly thank you; well, well, well.OPHELIA [even louder, pointedly so]
My lord, I have remembrances of yours,
That I have longed long to re-deliver;
I pray you, now receive them.HAMLET [caught off guard and genuinely perplexed]
No, not I; I never gave you aught.OPHELIA [exasperated silent sigh, meaningful stare]
My honour’d lord, you know right well you did;
And, with them, words of so sweet breath composed
As made the things more rich: their perfume lost,
Take these again; for to the noble mind
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
[in an undertone, gesturing with her head to where her father and his uncle are hiding:] There, my lord.HAMLET [after a second or two of silent realization, loud and theatrical]
Ha, ha! are you honest?OPHELIA [exaggeratedly startled]
My lord?… and so on.
You’re a genius
They actually did something like this in York a few years back! Hamlet entered the stage and Ophelia jerked her head in the direction of the eavesdroppers , Hamlet mouthing a question and she nodded. Then they started talking putting on a performance for the spurs- BUT Hamlet pushing too far.
He gets agitated, yells his insults and really does hurt her feelings but only notices he’s gone too far when she rushes away- which in a way made it even worse cause it was obvious she could not tell anymore when he was performing or being genuine- and it showed how deeply shaken their respect and trust in each other was by the events happening around them after all.they both were being robbed of their agency, becoming playballs of sth bigger than themselves DESPITE everything they try to do avoid exactly that.
This is exactly the kind of dramaturgical possibility that I love.
And how DARE y'all shatter my heart into a million pieces like that.