What sex positivity IS
- Believing that sex is not inherently dirty, sinful, shameful, or oppressive, but instead is something to be embraced, enjoyed, and celebrated.
- Understanding that, beyond very basic things like consent, there is no single, “right” way to be sexual because human sexuality and sexual behavior are incredibly diverse.
- Accepting the fact that your sexual preferences might be very different from someone else’s, and that’s okay! Part of acknowledging the diversity of human sexuality is being comfortable with the fact that there are sexual things out there that are not for you (or may even gross you out), and that the people who do like those things aren’t doing anything wrong.
- Rejecting the stigma attached to things like BDSM or sex work.
What sex positivity is NOT
- Believing everyone should have as much sex as possible
- Thinking that people who don’t want to have sex, for any reason, are bad or repressed.
- Insisting that no one gets to have boundaries around what kinds of sexual things–including conversations about sex–they’re comfortable engaging in.
- Believing that sex cannot be bad or traumatic, or that anyone who has negative or complicated feelings about sex is in the wrong.
- Replicating the male gaze.
(From Sam’s response to Is sex positivity just another version of the male gaze?)
Certified Sex Ed Post!