I knew I was nonbinary growing up when I realized that I literally didn’t understand how gender worked. I thought it was like being goth, or a furry. I thought I just wasn’t allowed to shop at the other clothing section because it was expensive.
Even now I have trouble with the idea that people have a visceral sense of gender, even with other trans people. I have never even for a moment considered myself to be male or female, and I’ve never experienced a desire to be either.
I see a lot of how I experience gender (or my lack thereof) in how asexual people describe their understanding of sexuality. There’s this common refrain of realizing “wait this is actually something you experience? Like for real? Like it’s not just in cartoons? You’re fucking with me.”
It is kinda funny how when people read “nonbinary” they hear “cis woman with blue hair” only to get jumpscared by my ghoulish 6'2’’ ass.