Tumblr’s New Blocking Feature!
Tumblr’s new blocking feature is a drastic improvement over the previous “Ignore” setting. Here’s what it can do:
- They can’t reblog your posts!
- They can’t follow your blog at all!
- They can’t view your blog at its address!
- They can’t text you while you’re both logged into tumblr!
- They can’t walk within 500ft of you thanks to our new forcefield tech!
- They can’t contact you at all, even by their own email!
- They can’t think of you without crying!
- They can’t see you in person! You’re invisible!
- They can’t say your name without a burning pain!
- They can’t even brush their teeth anymore! Why? Who knows!?
- They can’t vote in American elections!
- They can’t ever have kids!
- They can’t even eat!
- They can’t listen to the old Ludwig Van without feeling sick!
- They can’t live! They cannot die! All they they see: Absolute horror!
- They can’t survive for longer than 3 minutes without a painful injection of sulfuric acid into their eyeballs and genitals!
- They can’t ever touch their families again without causing them to fall apart like ashes, all they love, all they know will burn, condemning them to hell itself, alone and broken, tormented by pain and sorrow until the end of time and even then they cannot escape the torment you’ve inflicted upon them for you are become death, destroyer of worlds and they are but ants condemned to your unholy wrath!
- They can’t link to your blog in their posts!
Please note that use of the “block” feature is forbidden by the Geneva Conventions, U.S. Federal Law and The Holy Bible.
Not sure which of those three things banning it is the most dangerous to go up against
If the current allowances for politicians and businessmen are any indication, it’s The Holy Bible.