My stance on the Loch Ness monster is that it’s not real and we should fix that.
Are we making a robot, bioengineering a new creature or trying to Jurassic Park a plesiosaur?
Open to other ideas too of course!
All good choices. I say we set up three teams, give each a billion pounds, and then see who has best result after 5 years.
Worst case, we just end up with three Loch Ness Monsters.
Alternatively, one Jim Henson student who can hold their breath for a long time
Can we also make the ogopogo real too
Well obviously. Loch Ness is just being used as the technology development platform. Once we’ve got at least one Nessie, we can bring this tech to cryptids around the world.
Ogopogo? Real now. Mokele-mbembe? Real. Those “here there be dragons” sea serpents the size of sailing ships? Real. One ate a container ship last week.
The Flatwoods Monster is being worked on, the Jersey Devil got caught up in lawsuits, and we’re currently talking to a polycule in Seattle about becoming the first tribe of Bigfoots.
Hol'up, you can’t just cryptidize an entire city.
WATCH ME!
Jenkins, FIRE THE LASER!