blah blah Bethesda bad anyway
my favorite thing about Elder Scrolls is how goddamn fuckin weird it is
like on surface it’s just some dnd game but like even a cursory glance shows tis fucking insane like:
- The moons is the corpse of a god
- the stars are actually holes in reality when alot of primordial spirits hated that mortals were becoming a thing and fucked off
- The demon lord of forbidden knowledge/resident Cthulhu stand-in might also be the beta version of the entire fucking universe made sentient when it wasn’t chosen to be the used reality
- there are cat ppl that take the form of furrys, lions, or regular cats, so you can have a cursing Pirate legend whose an alcoholic & wanted in 5 countries but is also a like basic tabby cat
- the wood elves are so pro-nature they’re cannibals and also they murder vegetarians
- Vampires came from the Lord of Rape doing well ya know
- Werewolves came to exist bc the lord of hunt got bored and is a furry
- sex is treated like a fucking ip copyright contract on what aspect of sex is happening and what god it’s under. There’s been many religious wars about this
- The lizard ppl are part tree
- the Dwarves all fucked off somewhere and disappeared bc they were so atheist they did math to break relativity and literally no one has any idea where they went God or mortal (except maybe Cthulhu and hes not telling)
- Said Cthulhu stand-in treats hiding your grandma’s secret cookie recipe & hiding a spell that would end the universe and slay a god the exact same and he will murder you for either
- Everyone wants to fuck the Orcs but will never admit it and they got so bent out of shape that a demon god killed the og orc god, ate him, and shat him out bc she couldn’t deal with everyone complimenting them all the time so now all Orcs are cursed to be hated but they’re all still sexy & so is their god
And all this isnt even the tip of the iceberg