ethanscrocs-deactivated20240924:
they should legalize polyamory. everywhere. and im not kidding at all. if someone wants to marry multiple people they should be allowed to. for any reason.
before anybody tries to say some bullshit about this, extending the definition of marriage to include multiple people would give members of religions forced into abusive polygamy the same rights any divorcing spouse would have without putting them at risk for being charged with bigamy. this would make it easier for people to leave abusive plural marriages.
hope you don’t mind me weighing in on this. my family members practice polygamy illegally in the US and mexico. i was raised by survivors of that culture and i have been surrounded by them my whole life. i have a lot of thoughts on this issue and i haven’t stumbled upon anybody with the same level of knowledge on the topic weigh in.
this person is right. it is the illegality of polygamy that forces young girls and women to stay in these communities. if they have been forced into an incestuous, pedophilic, or abusive marriage, they cannot go to the police. the victims of polygamy will be punished for their role in this system. my family has graveyards filled with babies that were born with defects (i can’t think of a more respectful word, but these issues are what killed them) because hospitals are simply not an option.
absolutely, yes, factor victims of cults and polygamy into our discussions of this conversation. but don’t use us as a prop for your anti-polyamory agenda. the opposition of polygamy only hurts victims of this system. it reinforces the cult tactics used to prevent anyone from leaving and controlling women.
i have complex thoughts on the way abusive polygamy is completely ignored as a whole and not factored in to any nuanced conversations about plural marriage that i don’t quite have the words for just yet, but i’ll do my best. surely we can discuss how disenfranchised communities (often, in my experience, poor white & mexican women) have historically been abused by institutions of loose marriage guidelines/requirements, and we can factor this into the way we shape changes toward legalizing plural marriage in a way that respects everyone involved. surely we can acknowledge that ANY form of marriage can be used in a violent way against women in a way that is respectful of both victims of abusive polygamy and polyamorous people who struggle living outside of the norm. (not that this post is disrespectful, i’m just bothered by how many discussions are flippant and how abusive polygamy is treated as an issue of the past when it is ALIVE AND WELL TODAY, but these people live in complete isolation and are largely ignored by the US and mexican governments.) like many issues, progress toward fixing one social issue (lack of marriage opportunities for polyamorous people) also helps another disenfranchised community (those who are victimized or susceptible to be victimized by abusive polygamy)!