i am so absolutely utterly scared that my insane grandfather in his 80s who runs miles every morning is going to leave me a bird in his will and i am especially scared he is going to leave me a large cockatoo named “captain hook”. hook has been trying to make me his child bride since i was like 6 years old and every time i see him again which has only been a couple times with decades in between hook is like “you. it’s always been you. ever since you were born i’ve known we were meant to be” captain hook you are a bird and i am a LESBIAN and i don’t WANT an eternal sentinel captain HOOK!!!!!!!
As someone with a parrot, you have got to get yourself disinherited by any means possible.