I do love Tumblr’s isolation from some topics, but we’re tragically missing out on the JD Vance couchfucking saga
OKAY I’LL SUMMARIZE
So JD Vance is Trump’s veep pick to replace Mike Pence (who made the fatal GOP error of following the constitution on J6 2020 and not announcing Trump as eternal godking)
Overall, Vance’s rollout since the GOP convention has been
not
great
Now, some important context is that a bunch of extremely sexist and off-putting video has surfaced from previous campaigns, podcasts, etc. For example:
In a 2021 appearance on Tucker Carlson’s former Fox News show, Vance, who was then a candidate for the Ohio Senate, told Carlson that the United States was being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”
This generated a lot of outrage, as you’d expect, and the current peak result of this quote is major news outlets talking about Jennifer Aniston calling him heartless. Vance’s other quotes are driving a lot of news stories, they can be looked up, yadda yadda, but they’re not really part of this particular saga.
No, what’s really captured people’s attention about Vance is this one tweet that someone dashed off:
Damn, it even has page numbers cited! It must be legit, right?
No. It’s totally made up. But people wanted to believe, and boy, did they run with it. A sample:
Snopes chimed in with a factcheck on whether that text was in Vance’s book, and no, it was not.
The Associated Press tried to do the same, but there’s one problem: they phrased their headline a little differently.
And people pointed out that while you can objectively verify whether certain text is contained inside a book, you can’t actually verify that Vance has never had sex with a couch! Whether for the AP realizing that they’d posted an unverifiable “factcheck” headline, or for an editor going “why the fuck did you write that in the first place,” this soon happened:
Which means that if you try to visit the article saying that no, Vance didn’t fuck a couch, you see this:
As many people immediately realized: it’s funny to have the AP run its initial headline; it’s fuckinghilarious for them to pull the factcheck after its publication. The collective hilarity surged even higher.
