Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.
But it’s a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.
PA system: Worker 72094. Leave your working station and report to the Supervisor immediately.
Supervisor: Worker 72094. You failed to meet your quota for 3 weeks in a row now.
Worker 72094: I can explain!
Supervisor:You’re clearly burned out. I heard you moved recently. Take a mandatory two weeks paid vacation to readjust and report to me then.
Worker 72094: I… thank you?
Shadowy Board Member: Worker 11335. Do you know why you were summoned?
Worker 11335: Is it because I badmouthed the company during lunch?
Shadowy Board Member: That is correct. We are very displeased, Worker 11335…
Shadowy Board Member: …with ourselves, that is. We hold ourselves to high standards of excellence which we clearly failed to meet. We were hoping you could advise us on necessary improvements. You will receive appropriate compensation, of course.
Job Interviewer: *wearing a featureless mask and speaking through a voice changer* Welcome to Hopeless Inc., Worker 100100.
Worker 100100: What’s with the mask?
Job Interviewer: I’m shy 🤭
Of course. All Hopeless Inc. employees are due-paying members of Mindless Drones United.
It’s a very responsive union that cares about its members on an individual level. They just love the dystopian hivemind aesthetic.
