silliest thing about my body is that I regularly experience precordial catch syndrome, which is basically the medical term for an extremely painful “twinge” in your chest cartilage that’s not medically significant & which we can’t really explain.
anyway, mine falls in the extreme in that the “twinges” can last several minutes and they range anywhere from “agh, minor inconvenience, I just need to sit still for a moment” to “this is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my entire life, the ethical thing to do now would be to shoot me.”
the problem is, when it’s the latter, I literally look deranged. the “catch” comes on so fast, mid-breath, I gasp in sudden agony, clutch my chest, and seethe in agony as I struggle for as much oxygen allowed in the shallowest breaths possible. sometimes it’s so bad I end up on my knees or even lying on the floor, basically writhing in pain, clenching my teeth like I’m turning into a werewolf or something. and of course people are terrified. they’re asking what’s wrong, but I can’t talk. They’re asking if they should call 911, and I’m just shaking my head and holding up a “just a minute” finger and also groaning in anguish,
and then the silliest part of all is that the minute it ends, there’s no residual pain. not even the ghost of it. it’s gone as suddenly as it came and I catch my breath and I say, “WELL! Anyway,” and I immediately try to get back to the conversation but nobody’s ever quite receptive to that for SOME reason
