“Size 18 jeans: waist 29 inches” “Size XL jacket: chest measurement 75cm” “Size 38 slacks: waist 32 inches”
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Me: Hello, pants. My waist is 36 inches. That’s probably a size 14 US, right?
Vint*ge H*vana: Our size 14 jeans are 27.5 inches, actually
Me: Well, you’re obviously stupid. Who else?
Old N*vy: Our jeans are 32.5 inches
Me: Huh. Maybe a size 16 US, then?
Old N*vy: We have a size 16 in this style
Me: Great
Old N*vy: It’s a 28 inch waist tho
Me: How…? Never mind. You there, what are your 16 US waist measurements?
Democr*cy: 39.5 inches.
Univers*l Thre*d: 34 inches.
Old N*vy in a hat: 31 inches.
Me: Fuck. Okay, so what if I just go with a different sizing system? Who has a size 36?
R Je*n: I do
Me: What’s the waist measurement?
R Je*n: 43.5 inches.
Me:
Me: What’s an XL, then?
Z*ra Basic: 35.5 inches.
Me: Okay. Okay, so I’m roughly a US XL. Show me more US XL jeans
Sh*in: Um actually an XL waist is 33 inches
Me: Fuck off, who even invited you
Me: Anyone else?
H*rd T*il: 33.5 inches
Me: Suck a dick. Firefox, what is a 36 inch waist measurement in other women’s sizing systems?
Firefox: Well a 36 inch waist should fit a size 16 US
Me:
Me: Oh my god
Firefox: Or you could try an XL