This is a massive red flag in cities where people move around a lot, not so much in small towns. When I wanted to know more about my husband, living in a small town, I asked around. I got stories about him, his mom, every job he’s ever worked, half the girlfriends he had (weird), how he acted in high-school, how he was around kids, WAY more information than I needed. When I lived in Southern California, if I wanted to know who a person was, but they’re from out of state or even two cities over and I don’t know anyone who knew them, I’d check their social media. Partially to see if they’re terminally online and wasting their life away as an influencer, partially to see if they have other people in their life thay they’re accountable to (family, close friends, etc). It’s less about “show me your whole life every day” and more about “who in the heck is this person at all” because you can lie to my face, it’s harder to completely lie on social media connected to family and old friends unless you’re really trying, it’s even harder to lie to a whole community that’s known you your whole life.
It’s not a red flag at all to be off social media and the idea that you should be able to get to know someone outside of talking to them is disturbing. You don’t have that right.
Social media has rotted peoples brains so much that some people truly believe the only way to get to know someone is through their online representation of themselves. If you don’t want to talk to strangers then don’t talk to strangers but social media isn’t a good gauge for someone’s personality, let alone their true lifestyle. It’s all a facade. Also laughable to say it’s “harder to lie online” fbdbdb like what? That’s easiest place to lie about who you are.
