It’s apparently sexual assault to masturbate to the idea of someone without getting their permission first. I’ve been suddenly thrown back into 2015 Tumblr
I keep seeing people genuinely having this take and I am just…aghast is probably the right word? At the idea that if you want to jerk off while thinking about someone you need to have their permission. Do people genuinely not understand how much more invasive and unwanted bringing that question to someone would be?
In what world is thinking about someone while you masturbate without their permission sexual assault, but it’s fine if you approach someone who almost certainly does not want to know if you think about them like that, make that knowledge available to them, and then put making the decision on weather you are allowed to jerk off while thinking about them entirely on their shoulders? In what world is that second thing not a hundred times worse?
To be very clear:
✅ jerking off thinking about whoever you want, for any reason, without permission. Don’t tell them unless you are in a relationship with them and it seems like something they would like to hear! You are fine, you are not hurting anyone! This is nobody’s business but yours, period.
🚫 walking up to a platonic friend or acquaintance or co-worker and saying “hey I really want to jerk off while thinking of you, but it seems creepy to do that without your permission, so can you tell me it’s fine to do that?” This is sexual harassment no matter who you do this to, and if you are doing this to a co-worker this is grounds for you being fired. If you do this to someone who is working at their job, but you do not work there (like a barista or a waitress), do not be surprised if you get kicked out of that establishment for creep behavior! And if you do this to a friend or acquaintance or even a near-stranger, do not be surprised if they 1) never talk to you again, 2) warn mutual friends or acquaintances that you are a creep and/or 3) fucking deck you because you have just made the conversation awkward at best and fucking scary for them at worst, and they would be justified to rely on their fight or flight to get out of range of you.
I am begging you to think. Just think, for a second. You might off handedly agree with the statement “I wouldn’t want someone to jerk off while thinking about me without my permission” but if someone came up to you and asked you that, you would absolutely lose your shit in one direction or another.
Nobody wants this. Nobody should do this. If anyone, for any reason, jerks off while thinking about me and I haven’t made it clear to them beforehand that I would love to hear all about that? Then I don’t want to know about it. I hope they’re having fun, but I also hope they never tell me about it, or involve me in conversations about it to receive my permission to continue.
I don’t want this, and you, generic puriteen, don’t want this either. You just don’t.
They know it’s an insane, inappropriate question. They do not actually want you to ask your coworkers permission to put them in your spank bank.
They want you to stop fantasizing about people who aren’t already your romantic partner.
