my favorite way to frame this has been in the context of boundaries.
a boundary is not about someone else’s behavior. it’s about mine. i find this to be particularly helpful when folks want to argue with me re: respecting me as a trans person vs. “free speech.”
instead of saying things like, “You WILL call me by my name,” for example, my boundaries sound like, “If you continue to deadname and/or misgender me, I will no longer give you access to me.”
of course, some folks have inevitably argued with me anyway, usually by attempting to make me feel guilty for “punishing” them for what they perceive to be a “difference of opinion.” my response is the same every time:
I remind them that they’re correct. They do have the freedom to speak to me however they like. But freedom of speech does not = freedom from consequences. In this case, the consequence is that I will remove people from my life and/or cease communication with those who insist on denying my humanity. this is a no tolerance policy — because, wouldn’t you know, I have the freedom to do that.
it’s essentially the social equivalent of the Scientific Method: fuck around and find out.
my favorite way
to frame this has been in the
context of boundaries.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
