Me: Okay guys remember that it’s important in improv to establish your characters at the beginning of the scene.
Students: ok
Student 1: Hello. I am the president of the United States.
Student 2: Hello madame president. I’m William Shakespeare and I’m here to assassinate you.
This is the best opening to a scene I’ve ever heard of
Here’s how the scene actually went as nearly as I can remember.
Student 1: I’m the president of the United States. How can I help you?
Student 2: I’d like to make a complaint about the Vice President.
Student 1: Okay let me just get out my chalkboard where I tally complaints about the Vice President. Let’s see, that makes five… hundred! What’s your complaint?
Student 2: Well you see, I’m here to assassinate you, but I don’t think that guy should take over when you’re dead.
Student 1: Okay let me make some calls. Beep boop beep boop beep beep beep. Hello? I’m here with— What’s your name?
Student 2: I’m William Shakespeare.
Student 1: I’m here with William Shakespeare and he convinced me we need to replace the Vice President. When? Let me ask. — When were you planning to assassinate me?
Student 2: I mean I was thinking like, as soon as I was done talking to you.
Student 1: Okay sounds good. Yes we need to replace him right now, one moment. Beep beep boop beep. Hello? You’re fired. Bye. Ring, ring. Oh, it’s my assistant again. Hello? What’s that? Oh, they want to know if you’re the same William Shakespeare who wrote Romeo and Juliet.
Student 2: Yes, that’s me.
Student 1: What’s that? He’s been dead for four hundred years? Okay thank you goodbye. Sorry they said you’ve been dead for four hundred years so you can’t assassinate me.