Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by
Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.
You. Are. Overstimulated.
People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.
These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.
Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time
Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!
you might especially feel this way if someone picks up on your bad mood, but all their kind suggestions make you want to bite and scream. in my experience that’s not because you hate them or even the suggestion, it’s probably because *any* new information or ideas, no matter how gentle, is just Too Many Thoughts. this is when it helps a lot to have a plan in advance, even if the plan is just “take medication” or “go to hidey-hole,” because trying to think of a solution in the moment might be beyond you.
(also if ur overstimulated, it’s often worth checking if you need to eat/sleep/shower as well, because that might be part of what’s overstimulating you!)
chronic pain is also a source of overstimulation
Wait. That last one. Chronic pain being a source of overstimulation. This explains my general mood 99% of the time. Why I never realized…
Here I just thought I was being An Awful Person™️ (for merely having the thoughts; I never treat anyone poorly)