chongoblog:

Things That Happen In Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Without Context

• A vampire comes out of a horse. This vampire is Jack the Ripper
• The Sixth Sense was spoiled for most Japanese Audiences
• When the most powerful being in the world ascends to godhood the first thing he does is turn his hand into a squirrel. This squirrel kills multiple Nazis.
• The spiritual energy of a man’s soul decides to trap him under a radio tower
• A different vampire comes out of a different horse. This one is a unicorn
• A gay priest blinds himself so he doesn’t turn into a snail
• Jesus Christ’s corpse is incredibly important and also in America for some reason, I haven’t gotten that far yet.
• The mafia is incredibly gay
• The protagonist drinks piss, which impresses all his new friends.
• No one in the show particularly likes the author’s self-insert character. His house catches on fire because he was too busy gambling.
• One of the villain’s first on-screen actions is killing a dog
• Vanilla Ice kills multiple main characters
• One of the most terrifying abilities is magnets. Another one is mold.
• A huge number of characters are named after musicians and songs. One might assume these musicians don’t exist in the universe of Jojo, but Weird Al and Michael Jackson both are confirmed to exist, which is especially interesting because there is a stand named after a Michael Jackson song.
• Speedwagon