it’s hilarious how if you do any amount of research into life or death melee combat the prevailing themes that emerge are that
- you’re gonna get tired very quickly
- tired leads to injured, injured leads to tired, tired leads to—
- you’re not gonna be as composed as you expect
- humans are more fragile than you think and also more durable than you think. both are true and neither stop them from dying of an infection later (DO NOT GET BITTEN)
- DO NOT GET STABBED (generally good life advice)
- DO GET A SPEAR
- knights are faster than you think
Other favorites from history:
- Humans are very good at *pretending* to fight each other in hopes that the generals way in the back are buying it so nobody has to get stabbed.
- Most of the dying only happened after a side broke and tried to run, because then the rich assholes on horseback got to start running them down.
- When you do get a bloodthirtsy force, it gets bad real quick (see the battle of Adrianople, 378 CE, and the battle of Cannae, 216 BCE)
- SUPPLY LINES FFS
- Uuuuuuuh wow professionalization matters a lot actually
- There’s a lot of dust actually
- Horses Will Not run through opposing infantry, but they will run at other horses
- Elephants are not worth it, tbh
- Shields matter a lot if you want to not die but good luck finding a balance between being too heavy and not protective enough
- Anything is a projectile if you throw it hard enough
- Always have a knife
- Do Not Fall Down - you will be trampled
- The guy with the biggest hat/plume is the leader
- Release The Hounds
- Valleys are BAD NEWS
- Uphill is much nicer than downhill
- A retreat route to boats on the sea is only helpful when you’re already ready to sail
- Forests are torches waiting to be lit
- A professional soldier does a surprising amount of sitting around and day labour on massive projects
- The army has always been a good place to become an engineer, it seems
- Ffs, pleasr listen when the sergeant tells you something. He’s always right
- If you’ve got a shit general, make sure you’ve got a good tactician/strategist
- That rich guy really doesn’t know what he’s doing, huh
- Drowning is awful and being in the navy is certainly A Choice, but your wife will not be happy with you
- Damn, all this shit is heavy :(((
- Attack the baggage train >:)))
- Uhhhh, sarge? The battle line broke. I’m going home
- Why aren’t the enemy running and screaming back at us? They’re just … walking towards us. I will not be sticking around to figure out whatever fuckery they’re up to.
- Blood is actually really slippery :(
- I did not clean my blade and now the blood has dried and glued the sword and scabbard together :(((
- Tf you mean we’re gonna fight during harvest season. I think tf not.
- I Hate This. All Of This.
- Fuck me, battle is LOUD despite the fact I can’t hear shit in this helmet
- You’re better to be down an arm than down a leg, tbh
- Desertion rates are not as high as you’d think, but if you let the troops starve and get sick, they will abandon you en masse
- WHAT MADE YOU THINK CROSSING THE MOUNTAINS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
- The fewer pieces to armour the better is usually is (with the exception of chain and scale)
- Skirts and loose-ish clothes actually help conceal the lines of your body in combat
- Don’t wear too much armour in a hot place because you will be sweating until you pass out and die
- CHARIOTS ARE SO COOL
- Falling off a chariot is Less Cool
- You’re less likely to get stabbed than you are crushed or run over
- Leather resists slashing damage, silk/linen resists piercing damage and wood/ceramic disperses blunt damage
- Ceramic armour is actually so effective at defending its wearer that we still use it in bulletproof vests and tank armour (though once its broken it needs to be replaced)
- A blade lodged in bone can actually be really hard to get back out
- If your belly is cut open, you’re already dead to an infection
- Unless they hit a major artery, bleeding out takes a long time