do you mind if i put my hand in your chest? [“SOCIAL BLUNDER” indicator on my hud starts beeping] on.
[texting guy the next day] loll i can’t wait to eat you tomorrow it’s gonna be so fun
*meat lol
*meet
[int. somewhat shitty bar]
guy sitting at table with his friends about recent goings on
Guy: “I think the girl I’ve been flirting with is planning on eating me dude.”
Other Guy: “That’s insane. Won’t happen.”
Guy: “Yeah I guess you’re right. Well we’re meeting in like an hour, it’ll probably be fine.”Unread Notification on his phone: I HAVE PROCURED A VAST AMOUNT OF SPICES AND HERBS