to succeed in adult friendship you must remember the key tenets of child friendship:
Play Toys
Play Pretend
Snack Time
successful examples from my travels:
my SO and i have a projector. our cool neighbors have a vast dvd collection. fundamentally these are toys. we have those neighbors over for movie nights. Play Toys. more broadly shared hobbies fall into this category but it’s extra fun if there’s Equipment to admire and share.
ttrpgs are obvious but invaluable examples of Play Pretend. HOWEVER your options are not limited to this. i started a local writing group and this is also Play Pretend bc we all talk about our stories together. there are many such creative endeavors in this world.
having someone over for a meal is Snack Time. if you make a lil thing of it and eat at the table and make it nice with dessert and a fancy beverage to share it feels very grown up. and you will feel impressed with yourself for it. but it scratches the same itch as trading fruit snacks and suchlike.
of course these can be mixed and matched. most activities are enhanced by Snack Time if your friend targets enjoy breaking bread together.
and one begets the other. if you Play Pretend with someone for long enough they may eventually tell you about Toys they have and if you want to play too they’ll probably let you. if they’re nice.
life can be lonely when we live in separate boxes and worry about money all the time. this is what makes friendships hard, not growing older. but the antidote to isolation is connection, and the oldest wisdom we ever learn: share your toys. share your games. share your snacks.
Me reading this post:
yes good advice, excellent points
haha watching movies with the neighbors, that’s exactly what I did last weekend, just as described with a projector and everything, wild
“I started a local writing group”
….waitaminute
*checks blog bio, sees name*
!!
anyway hi hello I’m one of the “cool neighbors” I think (thanks!), hope it’s not weird to reply like this ^^;
yknow they tell you not to share too many personal details online bc somebody might trace it back to your real life and this is good advice but it neglects to acknowledge that sometimes it is very very funny when this happens. hey neighbor!
