the frustrating thing about discussions of kink for me is that it’s like the gom jabbar test for pulling reactionary sex politics out of people. you’ll see people bringing up (real and worth discussing!) issues of abusive people using the cover of being a dom or liking servant/master dynamics and then they’ll conclude this is why we have to treat kink like nuclear waste, rather than pointing to other issues of consent, power imbalances, lack of communication, respect, or negotiation. (not to mention how the existence of predatory/abusive subs is basically handwaved away because it’s inconvenient to their narrative..) like the problem of shitty guys pushing 50 shades wannabe stuff on their girlfriends lies with their misogyny and lack of respect for their partners wants, not with an idea of them being ontologically evil for enjoying sadism. further stigmatization and demonization just make discussing safe practices and safe communities for informed and healthy kink harder
LITERALLY!! acting like kink is uniquely dangerous just makes it easier for people to defend and hide their own predatory sexual behavior by going “well look im not doing any of that degenerate shit so I just can’t be in the wrong. sure I pressured her into bed but i didn’t hit her or tie her up”
