gender essentialism is what happens when you hear about gender being a social construct and a performance, but don’t actually want to stop viewing men and women as inherent opposites. so now instead of saying “women are x and men are y, because biology” you say “women are x and men are y…. because socialization!” & change literally. nothing. else. about how you talk about gender
& to be clear im not just talking about people who think trans women & NB people AMAB are forever tainted by male socialization. I’m also talking about people who do this in gender affirming ways. you are not immune to acting like being a certain gender means you will forever have certain traits, and that those treats are inherent to being that gender, just because you don’t misgender trans people.
gender socialization should be used to talk about how gender is taught to us, both as collectives and individuals who each have unique relationships to gender. it should not mean “if you are raised as a boy or saw yourself as a boy it means you are a predatory self centered chauvinist forever and ever” that’s just. fucking ridiculous. what’s the point of saying gender is a construct and performed and shit if you are gonna act like this process occurs exactly Once in your life and then you are stuck with whatever magical gender traits society threw at you forever. I’m sorry one day y'all are gonna have to actually fully internalize that people who are men and people who are women are not different species
ppl will literally be like “socialization doesn’t exist, being amab doesn’t make u inherently violent and misogynistic!!!!!!!!!!!! identifying as a man does :)” like u literally just took the same patriarchal structure of gender and transposed it. “men are inherently violent and misogynistic” is incorrect whether you mean “amab ppl”, “ppl socialized as men”, or “ppl who identify as men.” there is literally no unproblematic way to claim a whole demographic of people is inherently violent and misogynistic.
we all have shit to unlearn because we all grew up in a sexist and misogynistic society. and each of us are going to have our own unique experience with contributing to and suffering under patriarchy, especially trans people. what’s important is knowing yourself, being honest with yourself, and always doing your best to treat others well.