i wanted to listen to some background noise while writing the presentation of my thesis and landed on @santas-jolly-backhand-of-chaos’ soundgasm and instantly got distracted because I read the words vaporeon copypasta, got distracted and had the best time of my life ajjagsgsgajakak
This reminds me I still owe everyone a read through of the dolphin pussy jelly copypasta
Stop being a coward an copy paste the copy pasta here smh
Dolphin jelly
So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like “holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science” So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate’s dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say “you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it.” I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker’s Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death
