ngl I’m gonna need this site to stop right the fuck now with whatever rising aphobia has decided to suddenly skyrocket in the last month of 2023
you’re not funny when you say sex is what makes someone more valuable or more mature you’re not cool when you go “God I wanna be a little aphobic rn” you’re not original when you make sweeping dickish statements about aspec people and as a trans bisexual person who the aspec community helped tremendously and continues to help, i hate you
the aspec community taught me:
- my identity is *mine* and cannot be dictated by others, no matter the complexity
- it is okay to never ever want to have sex, to want to hook up 4 times a week, or to have any number of partners (or lack thereof) and as long as it’s consensual it is not a blight on your worth/choices
- same thing with romantic relationships
- you can have a close meaningful incredibly important relationship with someone platonically and you do not have to devalue your friendships just because society sees partners as most important
- its okay to be unsure, it’s okay to change your mind, it’s okay to identify as whatever makes you most comfortable, and you are not evil if you think a label fits you but later find out it doesn’t
- you deserve to be able to live in financial physical and emotional stability even if you’re single, and it’s not your fault society is built around the demand that you won’t be
- you are a whole person on your own who does not require one specific special person to “complete” them otherwise there is something “missing” about you
meanwhile, aphobic people have time and time again said shit like:
- witholding sex from a partner is *abusive* and if you don’t want it you need to either “tough it out” (that’s sexual assault???) or die alone
- lacking a romantic or sexual partner is a moral failing that makes you worse, uninreresting, and less of a person
- friends are never going to be as important to anyone as their partner and if you don’t find a partner you’ll never have full security
- any closer relationship structure that doesn’t fall into fully romantic, sexual monogamy is Lesser and Bad
- being unsure or having a “phase” is a blight and wrong and you must always know who you are or you’re an evil invader
- if your attraction is lacking, YOU are lacking. if you’re not actively seeking sex or romance, you’re broken, bitter, cold, or mentally ill, and just don’t know yourself.
so. I’m gonna stick with the aspecs, actually. thanks.