dembirdboiz:

kawaiite-mage:

The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe is something that would happen to George Costanza

GEORGE: I’m telling yah there’s a crow who keeps knocking on my door in the middle of the night!

JERRY: You think a bird is knocking on your door?

GEORGE: I KNOW a bird is knocking on my door and whenever I answer it just stands there looking at me shouting SUSANS NAME!

JERRY: There’s a bird knocking on your door calling out your dead wife’s name?

ELAINE: Are you sure it’s a crow? That sounds more like something a raven would do than a crow?

GEORGE: Crow, Raven, Raven, Crow who cares! It’s a big black bird keeping me up at night calling for Susan and I can’t take it anymore! What do I do?

JERRY: I don’t know what to tell yah George, it sounds like you might be cursed.

GEORGE: Cursed?? CURSED!? I can’t be cursed, what did I do to get cursed!?

JERRY: Well you did pick the envelopes for the wedding

*KRAMER barges into the apartment sweaty and paranoid with a crowbar*

KRAMER: Jerry no time to explain, I need to tear up your floorboards to stop the beating