Me: So yeah, casual english has completely changed since then. Nowadays instead of ‘There was a crying baby on the bus today’ you would say 'Me when I’m in a being loud and annoying competition and my opponent is crying baby on bus.’ And then you’d post this picture of Squidward. Oh, uh, Squidward is a guy from a cartoon-“
Reanimated Corpse of John Wilkes Booth: *Has been staring angrily at a penny for the last 15 minutes and not listened to a word I’ve said*