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sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny

• discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship
• miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR
• cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not
• fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee
• europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”
• fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”
• pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS