I love calling out aphobia. Genuinely. We don’t call out aphobia enough, passive or explicit.
Examples of passive aphobia and amato/allonormativity, for anyone wondering:
- Implying someone needs a partner or that everyone wants a partner.
- Saying “something more” and “more than friends” in reference to getting together. Boy oh boy, do I see this all the time in fanfic. (Other things you can say are “something else”, “something different”, “other than friends”, “in addition to”. This way, we’re not unintentionally enforcing relationship hierarchies.)
- Saying/Implying someone hasn’t met the right person yet.
- Implying all aros are heartless/don’t love (this diminishes platonic attraction/relationships).
- Implying all aros feel love (this excludes loveless and aplatonic aros).
- Saying aroallos are all sluts.
- Implying sex is a milestone people reach.
- Implying a first kiss is a milestone to reach.
- Enforcing relationships hierarchies, intentionally or otherwise. (This looks like the example above, as well as pitting different types of relationships against each other or saying a certain type of relationship is more important than another.) (Yes, this goes for saying platonic relationships are more important than romantic ones. That excludes aplatonics.)
- The only aspec rep in media being the villains/non-human characters/etc. (Disclaimer: Us reclaiming those things is different. I personally love seeing aro rep in non-human characters, but that’s just me. Non-human characters being the only aspec rep is the problem.)
- Implying all aces are aro.
- Implying all aros are ace.
- Implying all aros experience platonic attraction.
And much more. The aspec community isn’t black and white–that’s why it’s the a-spectrum.
DISCLAIMER: I am only one loveless aplatonic aromantic and do not speak for the entire aspec community.
oooo I got some more!
- Implying alloace people’s redeeming quality is the fact that they still experience romantic attraction (in a sense of “they’re not heartless they can still fall in love!”)
I’ve seen that a lot from alloace people sadly.
- Assuming all ace people still feel romantic attraction
- implying aroace people are less valid bc they don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction
It really goes both ways, don’t assume all aces are aro and vice versa, but also don’t assume someone being ace means they’re not aro. I’ve seen both and neither is more helpful.
and of course
- forgetting about the rest of the spectrum, Demi-, Grey-, Cupio-, Apothi-, and many more identities exist upon the asexual and aromantic spectrums <3