Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse ™ around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
See this is why I could never have kids. If my child had a favorite ball and I was angry about it existing, I would find ways to not be angry about it existing. If I ever destroyed it I’d feel such profound shame at having just decided unilaterally that a weaker human doesn’t get to have nice things because of my personal preferences that I’d fully and exhaustively confess the whole thing in ten minutes.
Am I weird, or does anyone else have a similar response?
I think you’re falling into the typical “I would do [x] as a parent, because [x] is better” (either more practical or morally or along some other criteria).
Nobody does x. Or if they do do x, they don’t do y, and “my kids would have access to what they wanted even if it annoys me” is a hard thing to presume you would adhere to when THE FUCKING. FISH. WON’T STOP SINGING.
Also, it wasn’t the child’s favorite ball: seeing it caused a rage so great the kid fainted.
