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lucybellwood:

I grew up in a very film-centric household. My mum's worked as a script analyst since I was tiny. My dad, to the joy of every nerd I've ever befriended, wrote Highlander. (Yes, that Highlander.)ALT
So when people ask me: Wouldn't it be awesome if Hollywood picked up one of your comics? This is what they're thinking: Iron Man, packed movie theaters, explosions, giant dollar signs.ALT
And this is what I'm thinking about: Let's say your screenplay is like a baby. You put a lot of time and effort into your baby. You love your baby. You spend months troubleshooting the second act discrepancies of your baby.ALT
You determine, after much backbreaking mental labor, that your baby is solid. It is ready. And then Hollywood comes to call.ALT
A smarmy executive bursts into the room, yelling "This baby is gonna be huge!" You receive a moderate advance for your baby. Months pass. Then years.ALT
The executive returns, bowling over the writer by yelling "Great news! This is your baby!"ALT
A poster with Baby 2: The Reckoning of Curly's Boogaloo in huge letters. The baby has aviators and a beard and tattoos and there are explosions and fighter jets and a woman in a bikini.ALT
The writer says "That's not my baby." The executive says "But if you don't say it's your baby, you won't get paid." The writer says "What." That's Hollywood, baby!ALT

Another piece I did for The Nib back in 2015! Gonna keep posting these until they shut down at the end of the summer. It was such a treat to hear that Matt and the whole editorial team just won an Eisner for their work on the magazine and website. Much-deserved.

Anyway: this is a parody and isn’t representative of every screenwriter’s experience, but it certainly feels relevant with all the strikes rolling out right now. Did you know what kind of credit you get on a film directly impacts how much you’re paid? For writers you’ll see “created by,” “written by,” “story by,” and all sorts of other things, all of which translate to different levels of compensation! (Highlander, for example, has Story by Gregory Widen and Screenplay by my dad and his writing partner, Larry Ferguson.) The Writer’s Guild is often responsible for arbitrating those decisions. They have a whole MANUAL to help writers understand the process. It rules.

Thanks, WGA. Thanks, The Nib. (And you can always make more of these comics possible on Patreon.)