…Yes? It’s… my job, they pay me. This is how OSHA works.
I’ve been working here for almost 2 years and I haven’t been paid a cent. How did you get your money.
Oh. Right. Yeah. Sorry, I’ve been collecting it for you and forgot to pass it over 😅
What the hell man.
Sorry 😞
GET OUT
I made you mad??
I AM GOING TO THROW YOU INTO THE SUN GET OUT OF MY SIGHT
Darling, I AM the sun
THOU ART BUT A PLAGUE UPON THIS EARTH, DESERVING OF ONLY THE SLOWEST OF DEMISES, NOT WORTH THE PITY OF EVEN THE LOWEST WORMS
Heh, the worms wouldn’t be worthy of pitying one such as I for they are but a meager part of my breakfast.
AND YET YOU FEAST NOT UPON WORMS, BUT ON THE DEBT YOU FESTER IN
What debt?
TAUNT ME NOT WITH FALSE RICHES, O BROKEN ANGEL, FOR THY TREASURE IS AS THE GOLD OF A FAIRY, ILLUSIONS OF WEALTH WITHOUT A TRUTH
ALL THE CRYSTALS YOU COULD EVER OFFER ME COULD NOT REPAY THOSE TEN BUCKS
If to you a fairy I am, then to you a fairy I shall be. Here, m'lady, are your ten sought after bucks
*spawns ten male deer in your office*
okay there’s a joke i could make here but it is far too foul.
you know what i meant tho. also wait hey asshole that’s what genies do! get your mythical creatures together cmon now we run a tight shop here
Actually, I believe that was the doing of the monkey’s paw. So I believe you are the one who needs to brush up on your fairytale knowledge.
The monkey’s paw gives you what you wanted, with an ironic twist - it is simply a wish with a downside. A genie, on the other hand, actively seeks out the most spitefully ‘technically correct’ way to answer a wish - if you wish for 100 raspberry crowns, a monkey’s paw would give you poisoned pastry, while a genie would give you hornets.
You wished for ten bucks. You did not specify which kind.
Ruling: Innocent
And who appointed you the jury and judge, o fellest of beasts? Who granted thee power to bring forth thy own salvation from damnation, that it may be a true might? Indeed, it was none but thyself - acting as if thy word is law as I am forced to throw these deer out the window
Firstly, please do not sacrifice the deer, they did nothing wrong. Secondly, I consulted the counsel for this. I am not part of this counsel and they are proven to be unbiased.
Deer bounce, it’s fine, they like being defenestrated, anyways who the hell are the council
That’s for me to know.
unless you want to follow the deer out the window it’s also for me to know
Eh
alright then. exeunt [she. kinda just picks up Duo and chucks the fucker out the window. considering that Duo is a bird, it’s unclear what this is meant to accomplish]
*thud*
*muffled* You forgot to open the window
*squealing of glass as I slide down*
…Fuck. uhhh. hold up let me just. [yknow that’s probably not how windows usually open but like who cares am i right] allright out ya go. take two [Chucking of duo! 2!!!!]
Ooooo I’m in the air!! :D
*bounces on the sidewalk*
*floats back up through the window*
*lands of you*
yknow now that i think about it i could really go for some sauteed owl right now
